السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
This is one of the istighfaars you should recite...سبحان الله , the meaning is just wonderful..I mean we are such sinful ungrateful slaves, and look at ALLAH تعالى 's mercy....الله أكبر!
اللهم إني استغفرك لكل ذنب ٍ قدمت ُ إليك توبتي مِنه وواجهتك بقسمي بك واليت بنبيك محمد صلى الله علية وسلم واشهدت على نفسي بذلك أولياءك من عبادك أني غير عائد إلى معصيتك فلما قصدني إليه بكيده الشيطان ومال بي إليه الخذلان فيه ودعتني نفسي إلى العصيان أستترت حياء من عبادك جرأة مني عليك وأنا أعلم أنه لا يكنفني منك ستر ولا حجاب ولا يحجب نظرك حجاب فخالفتك إلى ما نهيتني عنه ثم ما كشفت الستر عني وساويتني بأوليائك حتى كأني لا أزال لك مطيع وإلى أمرك مسرعا ومن وعيدك فارغا فلبست على عبادك ولا يعلم سريرتي غيرك فلم تسمني بغير سمتهم بل أسبغت علي مثل نعمتهم ثم فضلتني بذلك عليهم حتى كأني عندك في درجتهم وما ذاك إلا لحلمك وفضل نعمتك علي فلك الحمد يا مولاي فأسألك يا الله كما سترته علي في الدنيا فلا تفضحني بة يوم القيامة يا أرحم الراحمين فصلى يا رب وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد واغفره لي يا خير الغافري
(Translation:
Oh ALLAH, I ask you for forgiveness from every sin I have previously repented from, and swore with your name in front of you, and made your loved ones from your slaves witnesses upon me,
that I will not return to your disobedience and shaytan tried to lead me towards sins with his tricks,
and without your help I became fascinated by them, and my conscious called me towards your disobedience, so I secretly committed that sin while hiding from your slaves due to embarrassment, while being fearless and bold in front of you, even though I know really well that nothing can hide me from you, no room, not darkness, no tricks or curtains, and not even a door, even some type of cover cannot block your eyesight from seeing me, even after knowing all this, I purposely disobeyed you by sinning even though have forbidden it,
Even after all this you did not remove my cover, but instead you made me equal to your pious loved ones like I have always been a obedient pious slave who follows your every command right away without a second thought and is scared and petrified from your warnings.
I was kept hidden/covered in front of your slaves, no one knows about my hidden acts except for you, but you still didn’t separate me from them by any sign or warning, and you kept on blessing me like how your obedient followers are bestowed upon, and then you gave me a higher status upon them due to these blessings, like I am at the same level as them to you, and all of this that you have bestowed me with due to your mercy is all because of your patience, mightiness, great kindness, I received nothing from you but blessings and greatness, so all praise is to you my lord, and I ask only you that Oh ALLAH! Like how you covered my sins and hid them please do not disgrace me in front of everyone on the day of judgment, Oh the most merciful!)
This is a dua that is recited at tahajjud time....just beautiful...no words can describe the beauty of this dua.....:
كان أحد الصالحين يُناجي ربه في سجوده في جوف الليل ويقول
!!إلهي : أغلقت الملوك أبوابها ، وبابك مفتوح للسائلين
!!إلهي : غارت النجوم ، ونامت العيون ، وأنت الحي القيوم ، الذي لا تأخذه سِنة ولا نوم
!!إلهي : فُرشت الفُرش ، وخلا كل حبيب بحبيبه !! وأنت حبيب المجتهدين ، وأنيس المستوحشين
!!إلهي : إن طردتني عن بابك فإلى باب من ألتجئ ؟
!!وإن قطعتني عن خدمتك فخدمة من ارتجي ؟
،إلهي : إن عذبتني فإني مستحق العذاب والنقم
..وإن عفوت عني فأنت أهل الجودِ والكرم
...يا سيدي : لك أخلص العارفون ، وبفضلك نجا الصالحون ، وبرحمتك أناب المقصرون
،يا جميل العفو أذقني برد عفوك ، وحلاوة مغفرتك
وإن لم أكن أهلا لذلك فأنت
!!أهل التقوى وأهل المغفرة
(Translation:
One of the pious used to pray/talk to their lord with these words while prostrating in the night:
Oh rabbi (My lord): All kings have closed their doors, Your door is open for the beggars!
Oh Rabbi: The stars have gone far away, and the eyes have fallen asleep, and you are the living Self-subsisting, Eternal, the one who no slumber can seize Him nor sleep!!
Oh rabbi: The beds have been spread, every loved one has isolated with his love, and you are the loved by the hard working worshippers, and the company of the lonely ones.
Oh rabbi: If you reject/drive me from your door, whose door shall I turn to?!
And if you do not accept me for spreading (helping) your religion, then who should I except acceptance from??
Oh rabbi: If you punish me, then I deserve your punishment and wrath because of my sins, and if you forgive me then you truly are the most forgiving most magnificent/giving.
Oh rabbi: The knowing have made good intentions for only you and with your kindness the pious have succeeded, and with your mercy the people who made mistakes have repented.
Oh ALLAH who likes to forgive, please forgive me from my sins, and give me the coolness of your repentance, and the sweetness of your mercy.
Even if I do not deserve that, You are definitely the one who should be feared, and you are the one who is who should be asked for forgiveness.)
(I translated this by myself, I know terrible…but I couldn't find it anywhere…and it look a long time…but if there are any mistakes, please do let me know…I’d appreciate corrections.)
Jazakumullah t3ala ahsanal jaza!
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